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| JESUS never got Flu... |
Everybody hates FLU, including myself; I consider it a demonic disease like Malaria - Mosquitoes are bloodsuckers from Hell and that's why I started sleeping under mosquito nets! Secondly, I believe there are many types of Flu, some smell like a garbage dump while others make the throat sore or produce very yellow mucus, Musinguzi. Why are some people more generous with their edibles and drinks when they have Flu? Is it because they do not want to suffer alone and so spread the virus? I have tried all types of remedies to combat Flu including garlic in groundnuts, gargling saltwater, steaming, consuming tangawuzi ginger, lemons, green sweet peps (Cough drops - probably the Most Wanted Sweets in Ugandan schools), eucalyptus leaves, Vicks Kingo, Flu relief lozenges, blowing my nose regularly in a cloth instead of public sink to reduce the spread to others and so on and so forth but concluded that tablet drugs give me coughs including the chest-paining rocket type I first came across in Ntinda, KLA City (1995). I hate coughing and sneezing, even as a gesture sijuwi expressing boredom. When you are bored, you occupy and employ your mind, not blame other people! As a kid, my parents taught and implored me to always cover my mouth when coughing though I avoid coughs these days. Nevertheless, cough syrup tastes really nice, heehee! I learnt through experimentation from 2009 (after watching DW TV's "In Good Shape" Health Program) that coiling a warm cloth or scarf around my neck stops Flu germs from multiplying plus reduces nostril blockage with mucus in the night as the air coldens or stiffens. During the onset of the Coronavirus Pandemic, I was not scared of becoming a statistic because I knew my warm-neck-cloth technique would help me fight Kung-Flu even if it was touted as being more lethal than the Common Flu. Throughout 2020 and particularly during the Ugandan COVID-19 Lockdown, I did not get any Flu until Tuesday 24th November 2020 after harvesting groundnuts with my parents and sisters; dust particles probably caused it. I neshed for two weeks and wondered how the germs bypassed my defences. On Saturday 6th February 2021, I got Flu again after washing fermented cassava and wondered why it happened, maybe the sun vaporised moisture into my nose or dust from the tubers flew in from Tuesday 2nd February. Sometimes in Secondary School, I would reason that Flu is caused by mental nervousness or anxiety about schoollife; every term I would get Flu at least once, horrible times. However, to counter the pathogens already inside since my warm cloth precaution had failed to block the Flu, I snapped and tried a one half-litre-cup overdose of fresh PINE NEEDLE TEA by boiling many green needle-leaves and it worked miraculously within two days; one sunset only, #GODisgreat! My Flu did not even survive a Week; only drawback was I found a little blood drying in my nostrils. Roger that, Osmosis Jones! Pine leaves contain 4-5 times more Vitamin C than Oranges, plus Vitamin A too for clear sight. What the tea content does is remove Flu-cus from the lungs. Eureka! How are you feeling now? Pine [Fine]; that is the Flu medicine I needle [need o]; thank YOU, JESUS!
